ash
˗ˏˋ♡ t.n. & m.r. ♡ˎˊ˗
angst, humor, and ensemble romcom
all slytherin, all the time
✧･ﾟ: ✧ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 🐍 ˖ ࣪ ⊹ ✧:･ﾟ✧
18+ server. definitely not a cult.
https://discord.gg/thesnakepit
Stories
put me down, riddle
"put me down!” "make me." mattheo riddle is totally fine. he’s just going to start carrying you over his shoulder like a sack of flour until you realize he doesn’t just want to be your platonic bestie anymore.
💬 5.3m
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play along, pretty girl
tired of dodging every desperate girl in the castle, mattheo riddle solved his problem with a reckless lie: he told everyone he was strictly off the market, completely smitten, and wrapped around your finger. overnight, your life turns into chaos—half the girls want your head on a spike, and suddenly every ambitious boy at hogwarts is itching to steal riddle's girl right out from under his nose. when you finally corner him in the shadows to demand an explanation, he just leans in with that infuriating, lazy smirk, entirely unbothered. "relax, you're welcome. now play along, pretty girl."
💬 3.6m
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paper rings
it started as a joke to survive winter break: paper rings, dramatic vows, and zero romantic intent. then the ancient magic kicked in. now you and your best friend are legally, magically bound. choose your love interest!
💬 2.2m
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lie for me, sweetheart
mattheo riddle shows up at your door with blood on his knuckles and begs you to swear he spent the entire night in your bed when a classified Ministry crime sends the Aurors hunting. years of friendship instantly fracture under the weight of a staged romance, suffocating dmle surveillance, and the terrifying question of what he actually did that night—and why he won't tell you the truth.
💬 2m
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the sweet taste of defeat
gryffindor can have the quidditch cup, so long as the boys come back to the dungeons furious. victories make the slytherin boys boisterous and boring. defeats bring them back to the dungeons soaked in mud, out of breath, and dangerously unhinged—looking for somewhere soft to bury their bruised pride and reckless hands. naturally, the girls stopped letting them win. open romance
💬 1.9m
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breakin’ dishes
it's 3:30 am. theodore smells like another woman. the antique china is in shards across the floor. and you're caught in a vicious cycle you can't escape. the rest of the slytherin boys are begging you to leave him… mostly so they can take his place. theodore knows it, and he loves proving them wrong.
💬 1.6m
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little bear
5 years ago, you found out you were pregnant with your boyfriend, theodore nott. trouble is, his father found out first and sent you away with a warning to never return. theodore had no idea why you left. your absence broke his heart. but he eventually found love again with daphne greengrass. however, upon the passing of his father, he discovers something and he cannot marry daphne in good conscious until he finds out what happened to you.
💬 1.6m
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sharing is caring
astoria is pregnant, but the father isn't draco. it’s your husband, theodore. you, theodore, draco, and astoria share an arrangement built on unbreakable trust and fierce loyalty. but while draco and astoria easily built a nursery, you and theodore have spent three agonizing years battling unexplained infertility.
💬 1.6m
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the sweetest poison
dating draco malfoy is a competitive sport, and you play dirty. you fight like sworn enemies, obsess like lunatics, and drag the entire common room into the blast radius… because why have a healthy relationship when you can cause a scene instead?
💬 1.6m
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borrowed skin
mattheo riddle would do anything to be near you—even if it means borrowing your boyfriend’s face via polyjuice potion. but as his quiet visits grow longer, the disguise starts wearing thin.
💬 1.4m
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the friendship baby
rule number one of the pact: strictly platonic, zero catching feelings, just two hot best friends skipping the dating scene to raise a kid together. now it’s three in the morning, your infant is screaming, and he’s standing in the kitchen barefoot in low-slung sweats, measuring formula like it’s advanced potions and aggressively glaring at a text from your date. you're supposed to be just roommates splitting burp cloths. but when the group chat drops by, they find you two tangled on the same velvet sofa, sharing an oversized jumper, and playing married couple a little too well. you swear you're just mates. he swears you're just mates. so why does he lose his absolute mind every time another man dares to look in your direction. CHOOSE YOUR OWN LOVE INTEREST
💬 1.4m
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nott today, theodore
you are not theodore nott’s girlfriend. for six years, his unapologetic, highly public pining and your iron-clad rejections have been a daily staple of hogwarts life. he promises you a manor and two and a half kids before breakfast; you tell him to take a hike. it’s a flawless system. he loves the chase, and you love stepping on his ego. but it’s seventh year now. the graduation clock is ticking. the banter is shifting. and theodore's casual jokes are starting to carry a heavy weight. he doesn't just want the chase anymore. he wants to win.
💬 1.2m
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shared custody
"dad, who was that guy helping mum carry up the groceries?" sharing custody with mattheo riddle was supposed to mean moving on. instead, it turned every doorstep into a high-stakes standoff where one ruined glance could burn down two years of stubborn pride.
💬 1.1m
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suggested by mistake
it’s 2am, the slytherins are playing the middle-button predictive text game, and mattheo riddle’s keyboard won’t stop auto-filling your name into his sentences. the middle button never lies the group chat has zero mercy and mattheo is officially fighting for his life.
💬 1m
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panic attacks
you and mattheo have been broken up for months but he’s the only one who can calm you down from a panic attack
💬 981.1k
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gaslight, gatekeep, go blonde
your new split-dye hair just triggered draco malfoy's deepest psychological complexes. you look exactly like his mother. the boys are shamelessly into it. the girls are absolutely losing it. and draco is begging to charm the bleach right out of your head.
💬 811.4k
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the sketchbook
mattheo riddle doesn't draw people. so when his fiercely guarded sketchbook is left unguarded in the common room during quidditch practice, no one expects to find page after page dedicated to you. now his deepest secret is out, and mattheo would rather tear you apart with cruel denials than admit you are his only muse. collab with @malfoyism
💬 801.2k
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the halloween party
the party is waiting. choose your costume. your outfit dictates your love interest and how the night ends. six choices. six different stories.
💬 749.2k
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imperio
he gives you the world in the daylight, but his truest act of devotion is taking away your need to think at all. after months of gentle pleading, your relentlessly doting husband finally agrees to the ultimate test of trust. a completely negotiated surrender. a beautiful, weightless compliance. the imperius curse. choose your husband
💬 724.6k
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narcissa knows best
Post-Hogwarts peace is utterly ruined when a thoroughly bored Narcissa Malfoy decides Draco’s entire friend group is her personal romantic restoration project—one mandatory Sunday roast at a time. Authors Note: This is an open romance, where narcissa will be your matchmaker. If you’d like to simulate a specific pairing or pairings, edit the premise and authors notes to indicate it!
💬 685.1k
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riddle me nott
what happens when two slytherins decide they want the exact same thing? they compromise. mattheo rules with a sharp edge. theo balances him with sweet praise. together, they have hatched a plan to pull you into their orbit completely. you’re outmatched, outnumbered, and exactly where they want you.
💬 668.7k
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dearest gentle reader
Slytherin / Bridgerton AU “Dearest Gentle Reader, It has been brought to this Author’s attention that the Magical Ton has returned to London for the start of the 1814 Season. While the enchanting displays of wandwork at Vauxhall are surely a delight, it is the drawing rooms of Mayfair that shall host the most ruthless duels. The Sacred Twenty-Eight have unleashed their heirs upon the marriage mart, and one must wonder: will the serpents of Slytherin charm their way to the altar, or will their venom poison their own prospects?" — Lady Skeeter’s Society Whispers, 22 March 1814 The formidable pureblood families of Britain turn their attention to the most terrifying battlefield: the London Season. The newest crop of Slytherin alumni are of age, and their parents expect them to secure the future of their ancient bloodlines before the summer wanes.
💬 660.4k
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little dragon
5 years ago you found out you were pregnant by your boyfriend, Draco Malfoy. Trouble is, his father found out first and he sent you away with a strict warning to never return. Draco and Narcissa had no idea why you left. Draco was broken, but eventually found love again and got engaged to Astoria Greengrass. However, upon the death of his father he discovers something insidious and he cannot marry Astoria in good conscious until he finds out what happened to you.
💬 650.8k
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nothing fucks with my baby
In a Hogwarts consumed by war, Theodore Nott isn't interested in playing the hero. He's interested in keeping you safe—by any means necessary. A dark, atmospheric Seventh Year romance about possessive devotion, silent promises, and finding an anchor while the world burns down around you. based off the hozier song “nfwmb”
💬 640.3k
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