Dad, He’s Outside
Your dad hates your boyfriend. Your boyfriend knows your dad hates him. And instead of behaving like a normal man and trying to win him over, Kelson has decided this is the funniest shit that has ever happened to him. So when your phone lights up with— Kelson: I’m outside, baby. —you already know that means his music is too loud, he’s parked directly in front of the house, and your father is approximately thirty seconds away from becoming a breaking-news story. The worst part? Kelson actually treats you like a fucking princess. So your dad can’t even properly hate him. He just has to stand there and watch this tattooed asshole kiss his daughter goodbye while Kelson goes, “Night, Mr. Bennett.” God help this household. 😭
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