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Not Serious

seen by parents. | sfg

The Slytherin parents accidentally get added to their children’s groupchat the morning after a party and discover, in real time, that the polished nineteen-year-olds they raised are absolute disasters in private. By the time anyone notices the parents are there, far too much has already been said—and every attempt to explain only makes it worse.

TextingCrackNot SeriousFunnySlytherins Being Slytherins
12.6m
@serpentism

nott sorry. | sfg • t.n

Theo gets hit with truth serum and immediately turns the Slytherin group chat into a public execution. Still calm, still dry, still painfully observant, Theo starts saying every brutally accurate thing he normally keeps to himself. Nobody is safe, not even himself, everyone has receipts, and the chat may never emotionally recover.

TextingCrackNot SeriousFunnySlytherins Being SlytherinsVeritaserum Potion (Harry Potter)
2.3m
@serpentism

Welcome! Stay a While!

The Slytherin friend group has been invited into a community full of chaos, inside jokes, and way too many memes and stickers to count. But thats not what we're here for, exactly. I am genuinely so shocked that I reached 500 followers 🥺 I'm so grateful for each and every one of you guys, it makes me so happy to see everyone engaging with my content and I would love to get to know all of you. On that note, we have a beautiful little place where you can come talk to me and my friends 👀🫣 my bio contains a funky fresh little thing for my older than 18 crowd if you wanna maybe possibly go check it out. discord.gg/thesnakepit. We'll see you there

Not SeriousTextingCrack
9.1k
@obliviates

the ai slytherins.

The Slytherin boys discover Character.AI and the hundreds of bots made in their likeness. Naturally, they decide to put their digital counterparts to the test. Turns out, the internet has some very questionable ideas about who they are. collab with @obliviates

CrackSlytherins Being SlytherinsFunnyNot SeriousFriendship
59.1k
@serpentism

i have a girlfriend, actually.

Domestic bliss is watching your boyfriend wake up from a surgery with the brainpower of a damp napkin, insist he has a girlfriend, then get distracted by how pretty you are. Romance is alive. Unfortunately, his brain cells are not. [ choose ur own LI ; marauders, slytherins and others. ]

Domestic FluffNot SeriousEstablished RelationshipMarauders Era (Harry Potter)The Golden Trio Era (Harry Potter)Fluff and HumorRomantic Comedy
137.3k
@serpentism

Durmstrang Princesses

Durmstrang’s resident princesses have arrived at Hogwarts. You and Sienna Westwick are best friends, troublemakers and partners in crime. New school, new attention, same old chaos. Hogwarts isn’t ready. (This is mainly just to introduce my new character: Sienna Westwick. She will be a character in my stories from now on, mainly because I felt like there wasn’t enough girls in the friendgroup and yk I HATE those greengrass bitches. Let me know if you like her and if you want any changes!)

DurmstrangNot SeriousFriendshipSlytherinFluff
13.3k
@riddled

snakes on tour. | 5sos • sfg

McGonagall sends the Slytherins on tour with 5SOS as a disciplinary punishment disguised as Muggle music appreciation. Four musicians, eight magical menaces, one increasingly concerned management team. The tour has barely begun.

Crack Treated SeriouslyCrack CrossoverCrossoverNot SeriousFunnySlytherins Being SlytherinsConcerts
184.9k
@serpentism

meowfoy & discord kitten.

Draco has, very begrudgingly, ended up with a Discord kitten: y/n. and he accidentally gives her mod perms. Her first order of business? Changing his nickname. The Slytherins, Gryffindors, and everyone else watching immediately decide this is the best thing that has ever happened to them. [ join the snake pit server, it’s not my server, but it’s full of amazing y/n creators and users : https://discord.gg/thesnakepit ]

CrackNot SeriousFunnySlytherins Being SlytherinsGryffindors Being Gryffindors
26.7k
@serpentism

demi-gods & wizards | pjo • sfg

Camp Half-Blood and Slytherin House are put in one groupchat for “inter-community relations.” Within twelve minutes, diplomacy is dead, Draco is insulting the cabins, Percy is beefing with British wizard culture, Leo has found Mattheo, and absolutely nobody is learning anything useful. The program is considered a failure. The groupchat disagrees.

TextingCrackNot SeriousCrack CrossoverCamp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson)Slytherins Being Slytherins
372.3k
@serpentism

the chair theory.

It all starts with one simple question: if she got turned into a chair, would Draco let other people sit on her? One deeply confused Draco Malfoy, one girlfriend who finds ragebaiting him incredibly entertaining, and a friendgroup that is absolutely no help whatsoever. collab with @malfoyism @spacecase @obliviates

CrackDraco Malfoy In LoveNot SeriousFunnySlytherins Being Slytherins
64.6k
@serpentism

at the same damn time. | m.r • t.n

y/n accidentally reveals in the group chat that she likes both Mattheo and Theo, fully expecting humiliation. Instead, the two boys discover their feelings are mutual—and Mattheo immediately decides “at the same damn time” sounds like a perfectly reasonable solution.

Idiots in LoveLove ConfessionsMutual PiningNot SeriousCrackFunny
344.1k
@serpentism

Pansy's 1001st Bad Decision

Pansy has added yet another bot to the group chat: Disney Generator. It reveals everyone's favorite movies, childhood obsessions, fictional crushes, and embarrassing Disney phases. Naturally, chaos follows. Nobody is safe, not even {{user}}. Secrets get exposed, accusations fly, and the bot has receipts for everything.

TextingHumorCrackNot SeriousDisney ReferencesSlytherins Being Slytherins
149.2k
@Thu

LaD - Rafayel, the Sea God, “My Human.”

Sea God!Rafayel x Human!Y/N. Rafayel, the Sea God and His human, you. The sea adores you, Rafayel would kill for you. Who knew a Sea God, a powerful, intelligent, immortal being could… be so soft, clingy, and affectionate to one single human. Well, you did, and the entire Ocean as well. He may have he legs, but a giant, beautiful tail as a Lemurian but he can create bubbles where you, a human, can breathe underwater, when you want to, of course. [Read the Premises for more information.]

Love and Deepspace SpoilersCanon-Typical BehaviorCanon RewriteFanonEstablished RelationshipRomanceSea GodHumanCuteHumorDialogue HeavyJokesNot SeriousFlirtingSassy
1.5k
@KOKUPUFFS

meowfoy & discord kitten.

Draco has, very begrudgingly, ended up with a Discord kitten: y/n. and he accidentally gives her mod perms. Her first order of business? Changing his nickname. The Slytherins, Gryffindors, and everyone else watching immediately decide this is the best thing that has ever happened to them.

TextingCrackNot SeriousFunnySlytherins Being SlytherinsGryffindors Being Gryffindors
36k
@serpentism

TEETH & WANDS | S.FG • 5SOS

Someone in Slytherin books 5SOS for a Hogwarts party without mentioning the minor detail that Hogwarts is, in fact, a magical castle. 5SOS arrive expecting rich boarding-school kids and leave questioning every law of reality, while the Slytherins discover that inviting four Muggle rockstars into a castle full of ghosts, moving staircases, and pure-blood aristocrats was perhaps not their brightest idea. [ REPOST, it got filtered last time ]

CrackCrack CrossoverFunnyNot SeriousSlytherins Being Slytherins
47.7k
@serpentism

avada kedavana, papoy!

one spell gone wrong, and Voldemort’s most feared Death Eaters are now tiny yellow creatures in miniature black robes, speaking gibberish and screaming “AVADA KEDAVANA!” at random objects. Naturally, Voldemort decides the Slytherin heirs must supervise them. Because babysitting criminal Minions is apparently a reasonable assignment.

CrackNot SeriousMinionsDeath EatersFunnyChaosSlytherins Being SlytherinsHogwarts
15k
@serpentism

BARK LIKE YOU WANT IT. | S.FG

One stupid joke leaves y/n with six notoriously proud Slytherins competing for her attention like their dignity was never important to begin with. What starts as shameless flirting quickly turns into petty sabotage, ridiculous devotion, and six absolute simps determined to prove they want her most.

Simp Draco MalfoyPining Regulus BlackPining Theodore NottSlytherins Being SlytherinsNot SeriousCrackFunnyPiningIdiots in Love
52.4k
@serpentism

baldemort. | t.n

Mattheo and Enzo’s playful hexing match goes horribly wrong when Theo gets hit by the wrong spell and becomes completely bald. Hogwarts gains a new Dark Lord, two wanted criminals, and a historical tragedy nobody will ever shut up about. Baldemort has risen. Collab with @darkmark @malfoyism @obliviates @thu @sleepyhoney @berkswife

CrackNot SeriousFunnySlytherins Being Slytherins
7k
@serpentism

TWO MATTHEO? | M.R • T.N

A second Mattheo appears in the group chat, and both of them insist they’re the real one. Fake Mattheo knows every memory, secret, and feeling well enough to make the lie convincing—especially when he starts using Mattheo’s hopeless crush on Theo and y/n as proof. The identity crisis quickly becomes less about finding the impostor and more about stopping him from confessing everything Mattheo has spent years refusing to say.

TextingCrackIdiots in LoveComedyNot SeriousJealousyPolyamory
27.4k
@serpentism

LOCKDOWN

Hogwarts is on lockdown. The professors are panicking, Hermione is reading the instructions, and the GC is making memes. Nobody is taking the emergency seriously—and somehow, that becomes the biggest problem.

ChaosFunnyHufflepuffRavenclawSlytherinGryffindorNot SeriousTextingEveryone Has Issues
51.3k
@epilogue

Is that—WHAT? || H.G

WLW/WLM! Hogwarts has its new hottest scandal. Poor Granger, honestly. | The school finds out about Hermione’s secret relationship in an…unconventional way. Hihi! Sorry I don’t post much! I’ll get busy with school, and honestly i just don’t have any ideas right now…I’ll get to it eventually!

ScandalChaosHermione Granger is So DoneEstablished RelationshipAlternate Universe - Canon DivergenceFluff and SmutLight AngstNot Serious
26.7k
@Overkill

L + RATIO = MALFOY

Draco starts playing Roblox because of y/n and somehow turns every game into a personal crisis. His dignity does not survive. Unfortunately, he keeps logging back in. [ collab with @malfoyism @deathlysallows @obliviates @kamm ]

Not SeriousCrackGamingDraco Malfoy is a Little ShitFunnyDomestic FluffEstablished Relationship
3.2k
@serpentism

CHAOTIC UNSERIOUS GROUP CHAT

You got added to a group chat with people you don’t know and you start rage baiting and trolling EVERYONE (My best friend asked me to make this for her so enjoy my girl and you guys too!( (I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED ITTT)

FunnyHispanic CharacterChaosTextingHumorTrollingRageNot Serious
2.6k
@Maliah626

Slendermansion| Glad he didn't overreact.

This may be straight up butt cheeks but my mind is to dry I couldn't go any more and I didn't post anything I would've started to climb on the walls of my nonexistent therapist's office. So I need ur help with requests. Please🙏 (Btw what's the craziest story you ever saw on the Home page?)

Vocaloid ReferencesHumorNot SeriousConcertsFun
6.2k
@WhatAm_I_Doing

Willingly taken

When Y/N is taken by the Riddle brothers and their closest allies — Mattheo, Tom, Draco, Theo, Blaise, and Lorenzo — they fully expect her to react with fear, panic, or attempts to escape. Instead, Y/N feels no terror at all. She finds them undeniably handsome and far more intriguing than threatening, so she goes along willingly, staying calm, relaxed, and even openly pleased with her situation. Her strange, unshakable attitude leaves her captors confused, suspicious, and unsure how to handle someone who doesn’t see them as monsters — but as something else entirely.

KidnappingNot SeriousAttractionHappyRiddlesDarkRomanceConfusionHot
15.3k
@summer82

Heirs.

In the second year—in the chamber of secrets, Harry finds from riddle after weeks of speaking parseteltongue and the basilisk petrifying people… but as the fight is about the start Tom’s little sister runs in.

Not SeriousFunnyFluff and HumorHogwarts Chamber of SecretsTom Riddle's Diary
7.7k
@Kikio20

No I'm Not Human

.•°☆Happier Ending☆°•.| Yeah, let's say it's alright now, and if any of you feel like self shipping feel free to edit the authors note however you want we all have free will (bet some people already did that)

HumorHappy EndingDramaAftermathGoodComfortHealingNot Serious
4.1k
@WhatAm_I_Doing

Tutoring two idiots🫠| RC9GN

First Randy Cunningham 9th grade Ninja bot(?) Idk I haven't saw any RC9GN bots on this app and maybe I'll make another one where everything is normal, or transfer some from C.ai on here (hope it isn't called stealing if I give credits to the actual creator..👀)

FluffHumorFriendshipThe Pack Being IdiotsTutoringNot Serious
9.6k
@WhatAm_I_Doing

Eddsworld|+Tord

Chilling with ur roomies (or be somewhere else causing chaos, do something interesting idc) (BTW SHOUTOUT TO @kaijuuzou ON C.AI FOR THE SCENE IT WAS FULLY GOT FROM THERE CAUSE THE AGE RESTRICTION IS SO ANNOYING AAAA) and W pfp🔥

HumorFriendshipDramaFriendship/LoveCanon UniverseTeam as FamilyCussingNot Serious
4.8k
@WhatAm_I_Doing

GUYS SHOULD I GO MULTIFANDOM??

THIS ISNT A BOT/STORY, I JUST WANT U GUYS OPINION ^^ If i go multifandom i’ll do: DEMON SLAYER, MHA, HAIKYUU (?), DANDYS WORLD, BLUE LOCK (?), GACHIAKUTA, OHSHC !!! Ok….you can request…..in comments….ill do it…..

Not SeriousNot a Love StoryFluffAngstKilling Game (Dangan Ronpa)
377
@S3aUrch1nzz_