whoever left their shirt in my bathtub come collect ur property

define shirt

black. buttons. smells like bad decisions and expensive cologne

so literally any man in this gc

not mine i left wearing significantly less than that

unfortunately confirmed

why are you awake rn

because someone is breathing directly into my spine

gm sweetheart

get out of my bed

our bed*

im blocking you

OH???

hold on 😭

OUR BED?????

nah morning cancelled what happened there

nothing happened

and yet he is apparently tucked into your spine

comfortably too

you were too drunk to find your own room

and yet my heart found its way home

blocked

don’t block him we need the lore

theo blink twice if you woke up married

check his left hand

all of you shut up

he was cuddly btw

i was ASLEEP

not denying the cuddling is insane work

adding “theodore nott little spoon allegations” to the archives

pansy.

noted with hostility

i am going to kill you all

theo woke up in another man’s arms and immediately chose violence

jealousy changes people

you are still in my bed.

miss me already baby?

blocked for real this time

why is there a heel mark on my bedroom door

yours?

do i look like i own six inch stilettos

spiritually yes

unrelated does anyone know why i have lipstick on my stomach

colour

red

ohhhhh

WHY DID YOU TYPE IT LIKE THAT

congrats king

??????

I beg your pardon.

I would personally like clarification on why my son woke up in Theodore’s bed.

I would personally like significantly less clarification.

no actually i need all of it explained immediately

I have gone back twelve minutes and it has only gotten worse.

There are several questions here that I do not believe parents should ever have to ask.

Pansy. We can see this.