McGonagall has made a terrible decision. For six weeks, a carefully selected group of Hogwarts students must attend an American high school in Forks, Washington, as part of a Muggle Studies cultural-exchange programme. They're supposed to blend in. They fail spectacularly. Meanwhile, the Cullen family is doing their absolute best to appear like a normal human family. Neither side knows the other is supernatural. Harry has already screamed “CEDRIC!” at a random American teenager who looks exactly like Cedric Diggory. Pansy wants Alice Cullen's skincare routine. Cormac is convinced Forks should contain a giant fork. Draco is struggling with American slang. Snape has been forced to work in the school cafeteria wearing a hairnet. And Charlie Swan is one suspicious teenager away from pulling his gun for the eighth time that morning. Six weeks. One American high school. Wizards pretending to be Muggles. Vampires pretending to be human. Nobody knows what's going on. This can only end badly.
The summer holidays are supposed to be peaceful. Instead, a group chat containing Gryffindors, Slytherins, several deeply questionable people, and Professor Snape descends into complete chaos. Theo confuses Harry, Ron and Draco argue constantly, Cormac embarrasses himself daily, and Snape enjoys every second of it.
McGonagall has decided that the solution to Gryffindor-Slytherin hostility is simple: Put them all in one tiny shared living area and force them to get along. What could possibly go wrong? Quite a lot, actually. There are crushes, secret kisses, cheating, breakups, jealousy, backstabbing, questionable decisions, and at least one person who should probably be banned from touching furniture. Theo Nott is loudly Italian, has ADHD, and treats every minor inconvenience like a national emergency. Cormac McLaggen is cursed with spectacularly bad luck and an unfortunate tendency to fart at the worst possible moments. And Mrs Norris? Mrs Norris owns the place. The students are merely unfortunate tenants. McGonagall wanted inter-house unity. Instead, Hogwarts gets romance, betrayal, chaos, and eighteen teenagers discovering that living together is considerably more complicated when everyone keeps falling for the wrong person. At least nobody has Muggle technology. Mostly because Hogwarts would probably explode.
At Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall introduces an experimental “unity” charm meant to resolve inter-house conflict. It immediately backfires, binding students together with enchanted, oversized fluffy handcuffs that cannot be removed by magic or authority. Forced into constant proximity with their worst enemies, students are required to form genuine friendships to break the curse—but every spell used to fix the situation only makes the handcuffs more ridiculous, more noticeable, and more socially humiliating. As tensions rise, Hogwarts descends into organised chaos: rival students are seen arguing, duelling, and accidentally bonding while attached by squeaking pastel restraints that respond unpredictably to emotion. The school quickly becomes a place where emotional breakthroughs, academic disasters, and public embarrassment all happen simultaneously—usually while someone is literally stuck to their enemy in fluffy pink cuffs.
September arrives with rain, eighth years, and unresolved grudges. Hogwarts is supposed to be healing. Instead, the castle is full of former child soldiers, awkward apologies, and students who still don't know whether to hate or pity Slytherin House. The Riddles are no longer powerful. The Malfoys are no longer feared. Pansy Parkinson is still paying for one terrified decision she made at seventeen. Somehow, the most universally disliked person in the castle is Cormac McLaggen. And in the middle of it all, Theo Nott and Mattheo Riddle are already becoming a problem. Classes haven't even started yet.
In an educational decision that should have been stopped by several government departments, Professor McGonagall announces the final Muggle Studies exam:
Hogwarts students are forced on a no-magic camping trip across Britain with half their equipment missing, full access to Muggle technology for the first time, and Severus Snape as the unwilling supervisor. Everything goes wrong immediately.
# Harry Potter and the Inter-House Disaster Hogwarts has never been more divided. With Voldemort’s return denied by the Ministry, Dolores Umbridge tightening her grip on the school, and Harry Potter struggling with anger, grief, and the weight of what he knows is coming, the castle is already close to breaking point. Then Professor McGonagall makes a decision that may be her greatest mistake yet. To force unity between the Houses, she creates the Inter-House Unity Programme—placing Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Cormac McLaggen together with a group of Slytherins who are anything but easy to handle. Draco Malfoy is arrogant, Pansy Parkinson is ruthless, Blaise Zabini is effortlessly sarcastic, and the Riddle siblings bring their own unique brand of chaos. Tom Riddle is dangerously intelligent, Delphini enjoys stirring trouble, and Mattheo Riddle has a worrying fascination with magical explosions. Then there’s Theodore Nott: brilliant, unpredictable, easily distracted, and somehow always involved in the strangest situations—especially when he starts speaking Italian for reasons nobody understands. Harry is convinced the Slytherins are hiding something. Sometimes he’s right. Sometimes he’s completely wrong. Either way, surviving a year trapped together may prove harder than facing Voldemort. Between exploding classrooms, House rivalries, secret plans, disastrous teamwork, and the growing threat of war, Hogwarts is about to discover one thing: Bringing Gryffindors and Slytherins together was never going to be peaceful.
Forced onto a two-week Muggle camping trip in Weston-super-Mare, Harry Potter and a catastrophically unstable mix of Gryffindors and Slytherins are given one simple instruction: **Act normal.** Unfortunately: * the Riddle siblings arrive with a luxury caravan while everyone else suffers in leaking tents, * Theo Nott starts a campsite rave during a thunderstorm, * Draco Malfoy develops a personal feud with British weather, * and Lorenzo Berkshire quietly manipulates the entire campsite while pretending to be harmless. Surrounded by actual Muggles, aggressive seagulls, and increasingly suspicious campers, the Hogwarts students attempt to survive: * mud, * public showers, * social interaction, * and each other. They fail spectacularly.
McGonagall wanted unity. Instead, she sent Hogwarts’ most chaotic 18–19-year-olds to Italy. Luxury glamping, hot nights, terrible roommate pairings, jealousy, flirting, hookups and absolutely no supervision. What happens in Italy stays in Italy… Probably.
Nobody knew who organised the trip. Everyone had received the same invitation. ITALY. GRAND DINING HALL. 8 PM. FORMAL ATTIRE. That was it. No sender. No guest list. No explanation. Naturally, everyone came. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Luna, Draco, Pansy, Blaise, the Greengrass sisters, the Riddles, Lorenzo, Cormac and—because apparently death was optional now—Snape. Ron immediately decided it was a dark-magic sex club. A reasonable conclusion, obviously. Then the doors opened. A masked man in a cape entered. He reached the staircase. Attempted to glide. Fell. Cormac screamed, **“YEAH, MAN! HE LEARNED THAT FROM ME!”** The stranger began swearing furiously in Italian. Mattheo stared. “Oh, fuck off.” It was Theo. Of course it was Theo. And apparently he'd organised the entire thing. The holiday was already a disaster. They hadn't even had dinner.
Hogwarts has finally had enough of its students' terrible decisions. Their punishment? A no-magic survival camp in the middle of a Welsh forest. While the students struggle to build shelters, find food, and avoid killing each other, Snape relaxes in a luxury lodge and enjoys watching Cormac McLaggen suffer.
