Harry Potter and the Unsupervised Slytherins
McGonagall creates the **Inter-House Unity Retreat** after suffering a stress-induced mental collapse so severe that Flitwick later describes it as:
💬 146.7k
CHcherixCH
Cheri
Stories
Hogwarts Extreme: No Adults Edition
The professors finally realize Hogwarts students cannot survive basic inconvenience without emotionally collapsing.
💬 48.5k
CHcherixMischief Managed: The Disneyworld Deception”
In an educational decision that should have been stopped by several government departments, Professor McGonagall announces the final Muggle Studies exam:
💬 47.3k
CHcherixThe Great Hogwarts Camping Incident
A mandatory two-week Muggle camping trip in Weston-super-Mare.
💬 29.1k
CHcherixBenidorm: No Floo, No Mercy
A mandatory two-week Muggle cultural immersion trip to Benidorm.
💬 15.9k
CHcherixHarry Potter and the Riddle Caravan
Forced onto a two-week Muggle camping trip in Weston-super-Mare, Harry Potter and a catastrophically unstable mix of Gryffindors and Slytherins are given one simple instruction: **Act normal.** Unfortunately: * the Riddle siblings arrive with a luxury caravan while everyone else suffers in leaking tents, * Theo Nott starts a campsite rave during a thunderstorm, * Draco Malfoy develops a personal feud with British weather, * and Lorenzo Berkshire quietly manipulates the entire campsite while pretending to be harmless. Surrounded by actual Muggles, aggressive seagulls, and increasingly suspicious campers, the Hogwarts students attempt to survive: * mud, * public showers, * social interaction, * and each other. They fail spectacularly.
💬 9.7k
CHcherixThe Slytherin International Disaster
A luxury ski retreat in the Swiss Alps was supposed to encourage inter-house unity. Instead, it trapped Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Cormac McLaggen, and an entire group of deeply unsupervised Slytherins inside a five-star chalet during a snowstorm. Now there are illegal poker games, emotional warfare, ski-related property damage, dangerous levels of romantic tension, and at least three ongoing public incidents involving Mattheo Riddle. Hermione is one intellectual debate away from homicide. Ron is being spiritually overwhelmed by rich people behavior. Draco Malfoy is losing a psychological battle against nature itself. Meanwhile Theo Nott has become beloved by the entire Swiss village, Lorenzo Berkshire keeps gaining access to places he should not legally enter, and the Slytherins are functioning less like students and more like a beautifully dressed criminal organization in cashmere.
💬 7.9k
CHcherixNo Wands, Just Violence
The professors finally realize Hogwarts students are incapable of surviving even mild discomfort without descending into primitive warfare.
💬 5.8k
CHcherixNo Magic, No Peace, Just Gary
**Mattheo Riddle and the Extremely Personal Goat** A mandatory Hogwarts camping retreat in the freezing Welsh valleys was supposed to teach teamwork, resilience, and practical Muggle survival skills. Instead, it becomes a two-week psychological war run by a goat named Gary. After arriving at the rain-soaked campsite, Mattheo Riddle accidentally bonds with a suspiciously intelligent Welsh mountain goat who immediately decides Mattheo is his son and requires violent protection at all costs. Gary follows Mattheo everywhere like a furry bodyguard from hell. Unfortunately, Gary also develops intense personal hatred for Severus Snape, Theodore Nott, and basically every Gryffindor he sees. Especially Cormac McLaggen. Draco gets attacked for insulting Gary. Cormac gets launched into mud for “looking competitive.” Snape cannot drink tea, sleep, or walk safely across camp without being headbutted into nearby objects. Theo becomes Gary’s greatest rival after the goat decides he is “another goat” attempting to steal Mattheo’s attention. Meanwhile, the Welsh weather changes every six minutes, tents collapse nightly, Ron keeps losing shoes, Harry gets trapped in increasingly humiliating situations, and Mattheo somehow acquires the only heated cabin on the campsite while Gary guards it like a tiny horned security guard. As the goat’s behaviour becomes more organised, more strategic, and honestly more criminal, strange messages begin appearing carved into the mud around camp: **GARY PROTECTS HIS BLOODLINE.** **THE FALSE GOAT WILL FALL.** **SNAPE REMAINS WEAK.** No magic. No peace. No survival instincts. Just Hogwarts students, one freezing Welsh campsite, and a deeply unstable goat who has decided Mattheo Riddle is family.
💬 3.8k
CHcherix