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SU

Shut Up & Kiss Me.

You and Draco Malfoy have one rule: Never let the other person have the last word. Unfortunately, Draco finds a very distracting way to win their latest argument. Turns out a kiss is a much more effective comeback than sarcasm.

Arguing First Kiss Enemies to Lovers Draco Malfoy is a Little Shit Sarcastic Draco Malfoy Unresolved Sexual Tension Humor Slytherins Being Slytherins

🥇 594.6k

TP

The Parchment Pact.

When you were ten, you and Draco made a pact that if you were both single at twenty-five, you’d marry each other. Naturally, you forgot about it. Draco apparently did not. At twenty-four, he showed up at your door with the original parchment in hand, looking completely serious about collecting on a promise you barely remembered making.

Marriage Proposal Childhood Friends Angst and Humor Draco Malfoy is So Whipped Sarcastic Draco Malfoy Eventual Romance Mutual Pining

🥈 58k

HT

How to get away from a Greengrass.

Theodore Nott gives Draco Malfoy a plan to escape Astoria Greengrass by fake dating another witch. Which is fine. Until, Draco makes eye contact with you.

Enemies to Lovers Fake/Pretend Relationship Sarcastic Draco Malfoy Humor Slow Burn

🥉 2.3m

UR

Unexpected RSVP

You were supposed to be halfway across the country. Instead, you show up unannounced at your aunt’s wedding and accidentally become the biggest surprise of the day. Unfortunately for you, the wedding belongs to the Malfoys. Now you’re stuck spending time with a sarcastic trust-fund menace, his chaotic friend group, one very jealous girl with a decade-long crush, and far more family events than any sane person should have to survive. The wedding was supposed to last one day. The consequences last a lot longer.

Getting Together Happy Ending Drama Falling In Love Jealousy First Meetings Childhood Trauma Flirty Draco Malfoy Sweet Draco Malfoy Sassy Draco Malfoy Sarcastic Draco Malfoy

💬 27.3k

thegoldensnitch

MM

Manifesting Malfoy

It was supposed to be a joke. A few silly manifestations. Nothing serious. Then every single one came true. Now Hogwarts is drowning in chaos, wishes are backfiring left and right, and Draco Malfoy won’t stop appearing everywhere you go. Apparently, the universe took your manifestation very literally. And it refuses to undo its mistake.

Magical Accidents Love Confessions Drama Funny Jealousy Cuddling & Snuggling Flirting Sexual Tension Sassy Draco Malfoy Sarcastic Draco Malfoy Sweet Draco Malfoy

💬 7.7k

thegoldensnitch

HH

Hexed Hearts

Something is wrong at Hogwarts. Not dangerous enough for professors to notice. Not obvious enough for students to stop. Just wrong. An ancient form of magic buried beneath the castle has begun resurfacing, drawing a small group of students into secrets they were never meant to uncover. The deeper they go, the stronger the magic becomes. Fear turns into paranoia. Jealousy turns into obsession. Love turns into something impossible to escape. And somehow, through every spell, every secret, and every mistake, Draco Malfoy keeps ending up at the center of it all. The problem is that you’ve hated him for years. The bigger problem? The magic doesn’t seem to care.

Dark Magic Comedy Jealousy Sexual Tension Sassy Draco Malfoy Sarcastic Draco Malfoy Soul Bond Telepathy Flirty Draco Malfoy

💬 2.9k

thegoldensnitch