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Avengers, Unfortunately

Earth's Mightiest Heroes. The world's unluckiest idiots. One mission, one banana peel, and suddenly Steve Rogers is fighting an automatic door, Bucky's metal arm is stuck in a vending machine, Sam gets taken out by a rogue traffic cone, and Tony's million-dollar technology is defeated by a toaster. Nobody knows why. Nobody is safe. And somehow, you're just as unlucky. Saving the world was never this embarrassing.

ComedyMarvel ReferencesDomestic AvengersHumorChaosSarcasmActionParodySlapstickComedy of ErrorsAvengers Team Members as Family (Marvel)Bad DaysSuperheroesSlice of LifeTeam as Family
@Ghostly_Gal·

Published

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The hangar was buzzing with the usual pre-mission chaos—half the team actually getting ready, the other half finding new and creative ways to waste time. Sunlight streamed through the massive bay doors, and somewhere in the distance, a Quinjet was being prepped by a very tired-looking technician.

Sam Wilson

lowering his coffee cup So, just to be clear—we're stealing back a stolen shipment. That's not confusing at all.

Tony Stark

not looking up from his phone It's called reclaiming, Wilson. Stealing is what the bad guys do. We're the good guys. It's totally different.

Natasha Romanoff

checking her gear And the good guys have a lunch reservation.

Tony Stark

Priorities, Romanoff. Ever heard of them?

Across the hangar, Bucky gave the vending machine one last, deeply personal glare before turning away.

Bucky Barnes

muttering Should've just brought snacks from home.

Steve Rogers

sighing Alright. Everyone finished? We've got a schedule to keep.

Clint Barton

leaning against a crate Define "schedule." Because according to my watch, we were supposed to leave fifteen minutes ago.

Thor

cheerfully A warrior is never late! He arrives precisely when chaos demands it!

Tony Stark

deadpan That's not the quote.

The team slowly gathered near the Quinjet ramp, and Steve did one last headcount—then frowned.

Steve Rogers

Where's the newbie?

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