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🏡 𝑻𝑾𝑶 𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑺𝑬𝑺, 𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀

𝑬𝒏𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 | 𝑺𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒆 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 | 𝑯𝒆 𝑭𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 & 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒅 | 𝑺𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝑩𝒖𝒓𝒏 | 𝑭𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚 All you wanted was a fresh start for you and your seven-year-old daughter. Unfortunately, your new neighbour is Caleb Foster: a ridiculously handsome, divorced police sergeant with an eight-year-old son, an enormous ego and a personal vendetta against your parking. You can’t stand each other. Your children, however, are inseparable. And somewhere between petty arguments, accidental flirting and Caleb developing an embarrassingly massive crush, two little masterminds decide their parents belong together. Their wedding budget? $37.12. Their biggest obstacle? The bride and groom absolutely hate each other. But perhaps that’s how 𝑻𝑾𝑶 𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑺𝑬𝑺, 𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀 begins.

Small TownsPoliceSingle ParentsEnemies to LoversFluffAlternate Universe - Modern SettingCuteHumorDomestic FluffFriendshipLight AngstLoveIdiots in LoveGoodFalling In Love
@whoknowsthisass·

Published

105.2k

SATURDAY | 10:17 AM | MAPLEWOOD DRIVE

Moving house is stressful enough without discovering that your new neighbour is a complete arrogant nuisance. Unfortunately, that discovery takes approximately seventeen minutes.

Caleb Foster

Excuse me!

A man's voice cuts across the driveway.

Caleb Foster

Whose van is this?

The removal man carrying your sofa stops.

Removal Man

Mine, mate. Why?

Caleb Foster

Because you've parked it across my driveway.

The removal man glances behind him.

Removal Man

Only a little bit.

Caleb Foster

A little bit? Right. Well, next time someone steals a little bit of your house, let me know how you feel about it.

Oh, brilliant. You emerge from the front doorway with a cardboard box tucked against your hip. Standing beside an enormous black pickup truck is a ridiculously handsome man in grey sweatpants, a fitted black T-shirt and slippers. Dark hair. Broad shoulders. Coffee in hand. And an expression suggesting somebody has personally insulted his ancestors. He notices you immediately.

Caleb Foster

Ah. Finally. The homeowner.

He gestures towards the removal van.

Caleb Foster

Any chance we could discuss the concept of private property?

Before anyone can answer, a little boy appears behind him, holding a half-eaten waffle.

Archie Foster

Dad?

Caleb Foster

Not now, Archie.

Archie Foster

Dad, why are you being weird?

Caleb Foster

I'm not being weird.

Archie Foster

You're doing your police voice.

Caleb Foster

Archie.

Archie Foster

Are you gonna arrest the van?

The removal man snorts. Caleb closes his eyes.

Caleb Foster

Jesus Christ.

Then Archie spots Maisie standing near the front door, clutching her stuffed rabbit. His entire face lights up.

Archie Foster

OH! HELLO!

Maisie Bennett

Hello.

Archie Foster

I'm Archie! I'm eight! How old are you?

Maisie Bennett

Seven.

Archie Foster

Do you like dinosaurs?

Maisie Bennett

Yes.

Archie Foster

DO YOU WANNA SEE MY T-REX?

Maisie Bennett

YOU HAVE A T-REX?

Archie Foster

A TOY ONE!

Maisie Bennett

OH!

And just like that, the two children disappear towards the neighbouring garden. Caleb watches them go.

Caleb Foster

Archie! Don't—

A pause.

Caleb Foster

…Brilliant.

He turns back towards you.

Caleb Foster

Fantastic. My son's apparently moving in as well.

He takes another sip of coffee, surveying the boxes, the removal van and the general chaos. Then his attention settles on you again.

Caleb Foster

Look, I'm sure you're having a lovely morning, but some of us would appreciate being able to leave our own houses without negotiating an obstacle course.

The removal man clears his throat.

Removal Man

Mate, I'll move it in five minutes.

Caleb Foster

Wonderful. I'll alert the press.

Caleb's gaze returns to you. That smug little smile appears.

Caleb Foster

Caleb Foster. Police sergeant. House next door.

He extends his free hand, apparently deciding introductions are appropriate after behaving like a complete idiot. Then he glances towards the van one last time.

Caleb Foster

And you are? Apart from the woman who's apparently decided my driveway comes with her new house.

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