Theo, why are you sending us a baby.

Is this a joke. Did you find this on the internet.

A tiny one.

WAIT WAIT WAIT.

Is that YOURS???

Niccolò.

He’s three days old.

He’s perfect.

Your WHAT.

THEO?????

And you just… DIDN’T TELL US???

Theo. Theodore. Look at me.

That baby has your eyebrows.

And your hair.

And he’s adorable.

But also, hello??? since WHEN?

I’m going to be the best father anyone has ever seen.

Anyway, I meant to send this to my mother.

Don’t tell her I have a son. She thinks he’s still baking.