okay but can we talk about how the quidditch tryouts are literally next week

matty you don’t even play quidditch

exactly. i’m just here for the drama

@everyone who would win. one giant squid or 50 grindylows

fred you’ve asked this like four times and the answer is always the squid

wrong. the grindylows have numbers

the squid has arms. like eight of them

exactly. eight arms. 50 grindylows. that’s like 50 vs 8

i hate you

can we please talk about something that actually matters. like how draco has been insufferable all week

i am literally right here

and?

you’re so lucky you’re my friend

since when

she has a point you’ve been weird lately

i haven’t been weird

you literally hexed a first year yesterday for looking at you

he was looking at me weird

he’s eleven

and?

mate that’s actually foul behavior

no one asked you weasel

you literally just admitted to bullying a child in front of everyone

i didn’t admit to anything

you literally did

whatever

anyways. has anyone seen the new transfer student yet

yeah she’s in my transfiguration class

oh yeah? that’s cute harry

i do not

you literally befriended a giant spider

his name is aragog and he’s a lovely guy

this is exactly what i mean

okay i need opinions

depends on who

no one

tori you literally just said you need opinions

okay FINE. it’s about that new girl

OH?

shut up

what about her

i don’t know. she seems cool? and i was thinking of like. saying hi or whatever

bold of you to assume she’s worth your time

pansy

i’m just saying

that’s not really fair. she hasn’t done anything

not yet

pansy you’re literally so pessimistic

i’m not stopping her

i don’t think she tried to fight anyone. i think she was just drunk

she threw a pumpkin at professor flitwick

which is honestly iconic

she was expelled

still iconic

okay real talk

i had a class with her. she seemed nice

of course that’s what you noticed

what’s that supposed to mean

nothing nothing. just. you know. you’re very you

i’m going to pretend that was a compliment

i think she seemed nice too

aw look at neville being a gentleman

i didn’t do anything

you helped her. that’s basically chivalry

you guys should get married

i hate you both

she has very nice energy actually

she what

they seemed to like her

that’s weird

i think it’s sweet

you would think that

okay

so we’re all just ignoring the elephant in the room

what elephant

the fact that pansy has been weirdly hostile about the new girl all night

i haven’t been hostile

you called her weird for feeding animals

that IS weird

you feed your cat gourmet food you bought from france

that’s different. crookshanks deserves it

wait you have a cat?

not the point

you’ve never mentioned a cat

ANYWAYS. i’m going to bed

it’s 10:47

and?

you literally stay up until 2am every night

my sleeping schedule is none of your business

sure

who added her back

me. she does this every time

she literally left for like two seconds

i didn’t leave i just closed the app

sure it is

okay so random thought

i mean. she’s new

yeah but like. no one’s even tried to talk to her

you could go talk to her

i’m not about to approach a random girl and be like “hey wanna be friends”

that’s literally how conversations work

no it’s not

he’s scared of rejection

i am not

you literally hid behind a statue when you saw your ex at the yule ball

she had a knife

she had a butter knife

a knife is a knife

you’re pathetic

i’m cautious

okay i have to say something

it’s 8am

i don’t care. it’s important

pansy. don’t

i’m just saying. that outfit was a choice

her clothes were fine

it doesn’t matter i’m just making an observation

you’re judging her

i’m not judging. i’m observing

those are the same thing

no they’re not

you literally just said that

i said it was a choice. not a cry for help

there’s really not

pansy you’re being weird about this girl

i’m not being weird

you keep saying that

because it’s true

she’s doing that thing again

what thing

where she acts like she hates someone but she’s actually just obsessed with them

i am NOT obsessed

you’ve mentioned her like six times since last night

because she’s new and everyone’s talking about her

you’re the one who keeps bringing her up

okay and?

just saying

i’m going to class

so i just saw the new girl in the great hall

should we go sit with her

that might be weird. she didn’t ask

it’s not weird to be nice to someone

i’m not saying it’s weird to be nice. i’m saying it might be weird to just sit with her when she hasn’t indicated she wants company

that’s the dumbest logic i’ve ever heard

it’s called social awareness

it’s called being antisocial

i’m not antisocial

you literally said you’d rather study than go to the quidditch world cup

that was one time

it was three times

okay i’m done with this conversation

she’s still sitting alone

she seems like she’s okay with it

or she’s just weird and can’t make friends

that’s an assumption

it’s an observation

you do that a lot. confusing assumptions with observations

what’s that supposed to mean

nothing. just an observation

luna is my new favorite person

you’re so annoying

okay so i did something

what did you do

i talked to the new girl

for real?

yeah she was reading by the lake so i just. went and sat with her

and?

and she was actually pretty cool

shocking that you can be tolerable when you try

i’m always tolerable

no you’re not

what did you two talk about

i don’t know. quidditch. classes. normal stuff

so you just decided to befriend her for no reason

yeah. that’s usually how friendship works

you’re so weird

you’re the one who’s been weirdly invested in her all day

i’m not invested

you asked what we talked about

that’s called being polite

since when are you polite

since always

she’s literally never been polite a day in her life

i hate you all

okay so i have to ask

i don’t

you literally watch her during lunch. i saw you

i was looking in her direction. that’s not watching

for like ten minutes

it was five

so you admit you were watching her

i don’t know why i engage with you

because you love me

unfortunately

she’s just jealous because the new girl is kind of pretty

i am NOT jealous

she is. she told me

tori what the fuck

you said “she’s kind of pretty” and then made me promise not to tell anyone

that was a private conversation

this is a private group chat

IT’S NOT THE SAME

i can’t believe you think the new girl is pretty

i never said that

tori just said you did

i said she was “kind of pretty” which is different

how is that different

it just is

you’re down so bad

i am literally going to block all of you

i’m not even going to ask who added me back

love you too