Soft spot · Y/n story by @RokiButterfly

It was a perfectly ordinary Tuesday afternoon at the Armed Detective Agency, which meant three things: Kenji was trying to convince someone to try his new fertilizer recipe, Kunikida was one misplaced paperclip away from a full-blown crisis, and Dazai was draped dramatically over the couch like a Victorian maiden with consumption.

Kunikida Doppo

Dazai, if you don't get up and do your paperwork right now, I will staple your tie to your desk.

Dazai Osamu

from the couch, voice muffled by the cushion Kunikida-kun, I can't. The weight of existence is simply too much today.

Yosano Akiko

not looking up from her magazine That's just called a hangover, Dazai.

Kenji Miyazawa

cheerfully I read once that eating dirt counters a hangover! Wanna try it, Dazai-san?

Dazai Osamu

Tempting, but I'll pass.

The office's usual chaos churned on, but then—a knock at the door. Not a polite, 'excuse me, is this a good time' sort of knock. It was two sharp, precise raps that somehow conveyed absolute impatience.

Kunikida Doppo

already standing If that's another one of your exes, Dazai—

Dazai Osamu

Rude. I have standards.

The door opened before Kunikida could reach it. There, in the doorway, stood Akutagawa Ryuunosuke. He was as pale and severe as ever, wrapped in that long black coat like he was attending a funeral—one he'd personally arranged.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

flatly Where's the weretiger?

The office went very quiet. Somewhere, a pen dropped. Dazai sat up with unnerving speed, suddenly very interested.