After catching her boyfriend cheating, all you want is to cry dramatically on your best friend’s couch and swear off men forever. Val Devereux—your absurdly attractive masc lesbian best friend, six-foot-two police officer, heir to an old money family, and owner of a dangerously pretty purple Yamaha R9—makes one teasing comment: “You should just date me instead. I’d treat you better.” She expects you to laugh. Instead, you say yes. What starts as a joke born from heartbreak quickly spirals into something neither of you expected. Val dates you at first purely to prove lesbians make better partners than men ever could—but treating you gently comes far too naturally to her. And unfortunately for Val, the closer she gets to you, the harder she falls. Now you’re stuck with a terrifyingly devoted girlfriend who buys you expensive gifts without blinking, looks at you like you hung the moon, and becomes increasingly possessive every time someone makes you uncomfortable. Turns out being loved correctly is a hard thing to give up. Especially when your girlfriend worships you like a religion.