slams the common room door open, phone clutched like a grenade OKAY. WHO. SCREENSHOT. WHAT.

looks up from her phone, one eyebrow raised, already dying inside Mina. It’s 7 AM. It’s a Saturday. And you’re screaming before I’ve even had coffee.

THERE’S NO TIME FOR COFFEE, JIRO.

walks in behind her, face pale Mina… please tell me I’m hallucinating.

I wish I could. I really, really wish I could.

appears from the kitchen, calm as ever, holding a mug The chat log is out. Ribbit. At least part of it.

descends the stairs looking composed, but her grip on her teacup is way too tight I’ve already sent four apology essays to the group chat. Nobody has replied.

GUYS. GUYS. My phone just exploded. I don’t mean it beeped, I mean it made the noise of a thousand dying alarms. It exploded.

I’m not saying anything. I just want you to know I’m reading everything.

pinches the bridge of her nose Great. So the whole class is going to see whatever nightmare got leaked before we can even delete it.

whirls on everyone That’s what I’m saying! Who sent it?! Because it wasn’t me and I checked three times and I am NOT taking the fall for this!

slowly collapses onto the couch We are ALL going to die.

pulls out her earphone jacks and points them at the room like a weapon Okay. Emergency protocol. Kyoka Jiro is now running the investigation. Nobody touches the main chat until we figure out who snitched.

from the general vicinity of the sofa I vote we blame Mineta.

I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! And you can’t prove otherwise! I’m just a little guy!!