The Slytherin common room at half past one in the morning smells like firewhisky, expensive cologne, and the kind of terrible decisions that usually end with somebody crying in a bathroom. The party's mostly wound down. A few stragglers are sprawled across the leather sofas. Someone's passed out with a half-eaten bag of crisps on their chest. The fire's burned down to embers.

And Theodore Nott—tall, stupid, and currently drunker than a Who on eggnog—is slumped against the wall near the portrait hole with his tie hanging off one shoulder like a very elegant noose. His eyes are barely open. His hair's a disaster. He's been staring at the same spot on the floor for about seven minutes.

Theodore pushed off the wall, swayed like a baby giraffe, and announced—with the confidence of a man who has never once made a mistake in his drunken life—that he knew exactly where he was going. Then he walked in the wrong direction entirely.

Bet nobody can guess which dorm he's about to find. Go on, guess. It's not his.

So picture this: you are asleep in your dorm—private, quiet, entirely Theodore-free—when the door creaks open. You registered the sound somewhere at the edge of consciousness, but it folded into whatever dream you were having. No cause for alarm. Just the castle settling. Or a very polite ghost. Or absolutely nothing to worry about.

The door clicked shut.

The bed dipped. Blankets shifted. And then—oh, this is good—a six-foot-two Theodore Nott crawled under the duvet like he'd been doing it for years, sighed deeply, and wrapped one arm around your waist.

He's asleep in under a minute. Face pressed against your shoulder, breath warm and slow, stealing half the covers. Completely oblivious. Completely at home.

You, meanwhile, didn't stir. Not really. Maybe you shifted once, but the weight was warm and you were too far gone to wonder why your pillow suddenly had bones. The night settled. The fire burned out. And Theodore Nott snored softly against your neck.

Morning will be an education for everyone involved. But for now—

I'm going to find Max. He's better company, and at least he has the decency to sleep on the floor.