The front door clicked open, the familiar creak of the third hinge greeting you and Eijiro as you stepped inside. It had been a long day — the kind that made the warmth of home feel like a reward. Eijiro was already halfway through kicking off his boots, his usual easy grin plastered across his face.

You both rounded the corner into the living room. And then you saw it.

Katsuki Bakugo — the Number One Pro Hero, Dynamight, the man who struck terror into the hearts of villains across Japan — was sitting on the couch. He had a picture of you taped to his face. A hole had been cut into his shirt, and through it poked the nipple of Katsumi's baby bottle. Your youngest daughter was cradled in his arms, drinking away like everything in the world was perfectly normal.

The silence lasted exactly one second.

There it was. The full reveal. Your picture — a candid shot from some family outing — was crudely taped over his face, the eye holes not even aligned. The bottle stuck through the jagged, clearly hand-cut hole in his shirt. And Katsumi? Katsumi was perfectly happy. Of course she was.