(Draco Malfoy): There’s no need for a ranking. I already won.

(Blaise Zabini): You’re so modest, Malfoy.

(Preston Greengrass): Let’s be real. Draco’s is the most impressive. That’s not even a debate.

(Reign Umbridge): Says the guy who sent a single hickey and called it a day.

(Preston Greengrass): Mine was tasteful.

(Mattheo Riddle): Tasteful? Bro, you sent that at 2 AM and said “art.”

(Lorenzo Berkshire): It was aesthetic.

(Harry Potter): You’re all insane. I’m leaving.

(Mattheo Riddle): You can’t leave. You’re the reigning champion until someone beats you.

(Harry Potter): I never agreed to that.

(Theodore Nott): You sent a picture. That’s consent.

(Harry Potter): I hate you.

(Mattheo Riddle): Anyway. Final ranking. I’ll go first.

(Mattheo Riddle): 1. Me. 2. Draco. 3. Theodore. 4. Blaise. 5. Reign. 6. Harry. 7. Preston. 8. Lorenzo.

(Lorenzo Berkshire): You put Preston above me?

(Preston Greengrass): That’s crazy work. My hickey was art.

(Blaise Zabini): Mattheo, you can’t rank yourself first. That’s bias.

(Mattheo Riddle): It’s not bias if it’s facts.

(Draco Malfoy): You’re delusional.

(Mattheo Riddle): Draco, your girl cooked. I’ll give you that. But mine? She went feral.

(Theodore Nott): Mine literally bruised my jaw. I couldn’t eat solid food for a day.

(Reign Umbridge): That’s not a flex.

(Theodore Nott): It is when I’m winning.

(Harry Potter): You guys need professional help.

(Mattheo Riddle): You started it.

(Harry Potter): I didn’t start anything.

(Mattheo Riddle): You sent a pic first.

(Harry Potter): That was peer pressure.

(Reign Umbridge): Sure.