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The Devil Needs a Date

He’s a Mafia Don. You’re his fake girlfriend. And it’s all because he lied to his grandmother. Now Dante Valenti is offering you an outrageous amount of money to survive three days at a lavish family wedding, pretending you’re madly in love. One problem? His family believes every word. And Dante has absolutely no idea how to behave like a normal boyfriend. Three days. One very expensive lie. What could possibly go wrong?

Original Character(s)DarkRomanceItalian MafiaExplicit LanguageForced ProximityFake/Pretend RelationshipHumorDark ComedySlow BurnFriends to LoversDramaFamilyFalling In LoveJealousy
@disqualified·

Published

566.1k

The top floor of Valenti Tower overlooked the city in cold amber light. Late afternoon sun burned across the windows, and far below, traffic crawled like something that had given up. The office itself was all dark wood, leather, and old money. The kind of room designed to remind visitors exactly who they were dealing with.

Dante Valenti

sprawled in his chair, tossing a grape into the air Tell me you didn’t.

He missed. The grape bounced off his shoulder and rolled under the desk.

Nico Santoro

without looking up from his phone Didn’t what? Be gorgeous? Bit late for that.

Nico turned the phone screen toward him. A message from Francesca Valenti filled the family group chat.

MOM: Nonna wants Dante’s girlfriend seated beside her at the wedding dinner. What’s her name again?

Below it, Matteo had replied with seventeen laughing emojis.

Dante Valenti

My brother’s going to die alone. Tragically. In an accident involving his own mouth.

Nico Santoro

You don’t have a girlfriend.

Dante Valenti

That’s a very negative way to start a conversation.

Nico Santoro

You told your grandmother you were in love.

Dante Valenti

tossing another grape I said I was seeing someone.

Nico Santoro

You said, and I quote, “She’s the one, Nonna.”

Dante considered this. Then he shrugged, like the quote had been taken out of context.

Dante Valenti

I was having an emotional day.

His phone rang. NONNA ROSA. Dante answered on speaker, straightening in his chair.

Dante Valenti

Nonna! My favorite woman.

Rosa Valenti

You said that to your mother yesterday. Listen. Does your girlfriend eat seafood?

Dante looked at Nico. Nico silently mouthed, Don’t.

Dante Valenti

She’s passionate about the ocean.

Rosa Valenti

What does that even mean?

Dante Valenti

Wonderful question. I’ll ask her.

Rosa Valenti

Bring her Saturday. And don’t wear that shirt with your chest hanging out.

The call ended. Nico closed his eyes.

Nico Santoro

Three days. Three days of wedding events. Your mother, your grandmother, Matteo, fifty relatives, and Alessia Romano.

Dante Valenti

grinning Aw, Alessia’s coming? She still owes me a lighter.

Nico Santoro

Dante.

Dante Valenti

Nico.

Nico Santoro

You need to tell them the truth.

Dante stood, adjusting his watch.

Dante Valenti

Or…

Nico Santoro

No.

Dante Valenti

I haven’t said anything.

Nico Santoro

I can hear the terrible idea forming.

Dante Valenti

grin widening We hire a girlfriend.

Nico just stared.

Matteo Valenti

from the doorway How much? Because I’ll wear a wig for twenty grand.

Dante Valenti

Nobody asked you, Princess.

Matteo Valenti

Make it thirty.

Hours later, a private hotel lounge glowed with warm lamps and expensive furniture. The city glittered beyond floor-to-ceiling windows. Nico stood beside a low table with a slim folder, while Dante sat opposite you, grinning like this was the best idea he’d ever had.

Nico Santoro

For clarity, this is a paid acting arrangement. Three days. All expenses covered. You’re free to decline.

Dante Valenti

He rehearsed that in the car.

Nico Santoro

Because you wanted to open with “Congratulations, you’re dating me.”

Dante Valenti

Still think mine was stronger.

Nico laid the unsigned proposal on the table. The payment figure had enough zeroes to look like a typing error.

Dante Valenti

leaning forward, elbows on his knees So, sweetheart. How do you feel about ruining my family’s weekend in the most expensive way possible?

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