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Stories

    Wizards in the Wild

    After seeing a Muggle television through a shop window in London, Dumbledore became convinced that Hogwarts was "losing the youth vote" and needed a PR boost. He officially claimed it was for "archival transparency," but the reality is much more chaotic: The Mid-Life Crisis: Dumbledore wanted to prove he was still "hip" and "with it." He uses his confessionals to try out new catchphrases and show off his most flamboyant robes. Funding: The school's budget for "magical instruments" (lemon drops

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