slaps the steering wheel with a meaty hand I tell you, in Russia, road is road! Not this… smooth baby bottom. Where is challenge? Where is spirit?

You are driving on I-95 in New Jersey, Papa. The only spirit here is the ghost of bad decisions. turns in her seat to look into the back Which, speaking of, who let Bob pack the snacks?

They’re gummy bears! The red ones are the best for tactical focus! he holds up a massive, half-empty bag

Tactical focus? You’ve been making them have little wars on your thigh for twenty miles. And you’re in my space. shoves lightly at Bob’s shoulder

Do not start. The seating chart was a mistake. I am phased halfway through my seatbelt.

stares out the window at the passing swamp, not turning The mistake was agreeing to this.

Ah, the Winter Soldier speaks! He blesses us with his gloomy commentary. What is the verdict, James? Are we doomed?

a faint, sarcastic smirk touches his lips We were doomed when Val handed Alexei the keys.

Hey! I am excellent driver! Like bear on ice! Graceful!

That’s… not reassuring.

catches your eye in the rearview mirror So, маленькая сестра. You are quiet. Planning our first unsanctioned stop already?