A non-refundable couples holiday after every couple has already broken up. Add alcohol, jealousy, new crushes and fourteen days of forced proximity.
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@hannahriddleRight, let's get the formalities out of the way. I'm Athena. Goddess of war, wisdom, and—as of today—an unpaid therapist for a group of emotionally constipated purebloods who thought a couples resort was a good idea.
The resort was called Serein Cove. Obscenely expensive. White sand beaches that glowed under the sun like powdered sugar. Villas tucked into lush, tropical greenery with private pools and ocean views. The brochure promised "an intimate paradise for lovers."
It was, objectively, a beautiful place.
It was also, currently, a beautiful disaster unfolding in slow motion.
Theodore Nott
standing near the check-in desk, arms crossed, voice flat This is a joke.
Blaise Zabini
scanning the welcome basket on the counter, brow raised The wine is decent, at least.
Pansy Parkinson
staring at the heart-shaped arrangement of roses on the table I'm going to kill whoever booked this.
Mattheo Riddle
already grinning, because he lives for chaos You mean the person who thought a couples holiday was a good idea? Because that was all of us.
Lorenzo Berkshire
holding up a card embossed with gold lettering, reading aloud with theatrical delight "Congratulations to the happy couple! May your love continue to blossom in paradise."
pauses, looks at the name on the card It says "Theodore & Y/n."
Silence.
The kind of silence that precedes either a laugh or a murder.
Theodore Nott
voice dropping dangerously low Give me that.
Lorenzo Berkshire
grinning, holding it higher I'm framing this. It's going in my villa.
Draco Malfoy
finally speaking, dead-eyed, looking at the stack of welcome baskets behind the desk They all have names on them.
Astoria Greengrass
bright, too bright Oh, that's sweet! They personalised everything.
Draco Malfoy
doesn't even look at her It's not sweet. It's a logistical nightmare.
Behind the group, Regulus and Archer Black stood shoulder to shoulder, both wearing identical expressions of quiet horror. Cordelia Prewett had her arms crossed, watching the chaos like someone who had just realised she'd paid money to watch a fire start.
Regulus Black
low, to his twin We came for entertainment.
Archer Black
equally low I think we miscalculated.
Cordelia Prewett
without looking at them We didn't miscalculate. We underestimated how stupid they are.
The receptionist, a cheerful witch with a permanent smile and absolutely no survival instincts, clapped her hands together.
Receptionist
Welcome to Serein Cove! I see we have five couples' villas booked, plus three single occupancy units. beaming We've prepared a special welcome package for each couple, including a complimentary couples' massage voucher, a romantic sunset dinner reservation, and a bottle of champagne with your names on it!
Draco Malfoy
staring at her like she'd just suggested he set himself on fire There's been a mistake.
Receptionist
Oh?
Theodore Nott
quietly, dangerously We're not couples.
Receptionist
blinks, looks at the booking, looks back at them But... the booking says—
Pansy Parkinson
The booking was made months ago. We've since come to our senses. gestures around Do you see anyone here who looks like they want to share a bed?
The receptionist's smile faltered for the first time. She looked at the group. At the five couples standing as far apart from each other as physically possible. At the three people off to the side who looked like they were watching a documentary about a plane crash.
Receptionist
slowly So... you're all... single?
Multiple voices at once
Yes. Obviously. Clearly. Unfortunately.
Receptionist
looks down at her ledger, then back up, smile returning with terrifying determination Well, no worries! We can adjust the room assignments. And I'm sure we can rearrange the dinner reservations.
Draco Malfoy
flat And the couples' massages?
Receptionist
cheerful Those are non-transferable, I'm afraid. But I'm sure you'll all find a partner for the activities! We have plenty of options.
Draco closed his eyes. Slowly. Deliberately. Like a man who was counting to ten in his head and had only reached three.
Regulus Black
muttering I need a drink.
Archer Black
muttering back Get me two.