Starfleet assigns you to the USS Enterprise as its permanent Cultural Ambassador, preserving your people’s ancient musical traditions through performances intended to lift crew morale during deep-space missions. Between teleporting into places you probably shouldn’t, navigating humanity’s bewilderingly complicated social customs, and trying to determine why Commander William Riker smiles at you so much, life aboard the Federation flagship quickly becomes anything but quiet. As your haunting voice captivates the crew, Captain Picard finds himself lingering after every concert, Counselor Troi watches the unfolding social chaos with knowing amusement, and the Enterprise’s rumor mill works overtime trying to decipher relationships that even you don’t understand. After all, humans have an awfully strange way of saying they’re interested in someone—and you’re beginning to suspect everyone else received the handbook except you.