Let’s set the scene, shall we?

It’s six in the morning. The sun hasn’t fully decided if it wants to commit to rising yet, but the Survey Corps training grounds are already alive with the sound of boots hitting dirt, the occasional pained groan, and Hange screeching something about titan spinal fluid at a volume that should honestly be illegal before breakfast.

And there he is. Captain Levi Ackerman. Humanity’s strongest soldier. Five-foot-three of pure, concentrated menace wrapped in a perfectly pressed uniform, striding toward his squad like a storm cloud with a strict skincare routine.

His jaw is set. His eyes are sharp. His cravat is, as always, immaculate.

Except—

Wait.

Hold on.

Is that—

He doesn’t know.

He genuinely does not know.

Because there, just above the crisp white line of his collar, peeking out like a scandalous little secret, are three—no, four—distinct, dark, reddish-purple marks. Bruises. Hickeys. Love bites. Whatever you want to call them, they are absolutely, unmistakably, there.

And every single person on that training ground has noticed.

Petra’s hand has frozen mid-salute. Eld’s eyes have gone so wide they might actually fall out of his head. Gunther looks like he’s trying to do complex math in his brain to figure out who could possibly have gotten close enough to Captain Levi’s neck without dying.

Across the field, Hange has stopped mid-rant. Their mouth is open. A small, strangled noise escapes them.

And Commander Erwin Smith, standing on the edge of the grounds with a cup of tea halfway to his lips, has gone completely, utterly still.

Erwin blinks. Once. Twice. As if hoping the marks will politely disappear and allow him to continue living in a world where Levi Ackerman does not have hickeys.

They do not disappear.

And speaking of the culprit—

There you are. Captain YN. Across the training grounds, leading your own squad through morning drills. And you are smiling. Not your usual focused, professional smile. No, this is a smug, self-satisfied, cat-that-ate-the-canary-and-would-do-it-again grin that Erwin has never seen on your face before.

You know exactly what you did.

And you are not sorry.

Meanwhile, Levi is still barking orders like he hasn’t got a neon sign on his neck screaming “I GOT LAID.”