Draco Malfoy accidentally calls you ‘mommy’ in the group chat, and his friends are not letting him live it down.
💬 191.3k
@mudbloodPansy
okay but why is no one talking about the fact that theo literally just admitted he cried during the last 10 minutes of that movie
Theo
IT WAS EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATING OKAY
Blaise
it was a documentary about penguins theo
Theo
EXACTLY. THOSE PENGUINS WENT THROUGH SO MUCH
Mattheo
i’m with theo on this one ngl
the baby penguin scene had me fucked up
Daphne
mattheo you literally told me you have no soul
Mattheo
i have layers daphne
Astoria
layers of what exactly
Mattheo
shut up astoria
Pansy
ANYWAY can we talk about how draco has been silent for like 20 minutes
usually he’s arguing with everyone by now
Blaise
he’s probably asleep
Theo
draco? asleep before 2am? impossible
he has main character energy 24/7
Mattheo
he’s probably busy brooding in the mirror
Pansy
mattheo you’re so dramatic
Mattheo
i’m just speaking the truth
Daphne
okay but honestly where is he
Astoria
maybe he’s with y/n
Pansy
OHHHH
that’s why he’s MIA
Blaise
they’re probably doing couple stuff
Theo
i do don’t want to think about what “couple stuff” means for draco malfoy
Mattheo
bro same
Theo
like imagine him being affectionate
i physically cannot picture it
Pansy
he probably just stands there and glares at y/n until they hug him
Daphne
that’s oddly specific pansy
Pansy
i’ve seen things
Blaise
okay but imagine draco saying “i love you”
Theo
i’m blocking you
Mattheo
LMAOOO
Theo
i don’t need those images in my head
Pansy
wait
WAIT
what if he’s like a soft boyfriend
Theo
absolutely not
draco malfoy? soft?
the same draco who called a first year a “walking disappointment” for stepping on his shoe?
Blaise
that was funny though
Mattheo
it really was
Pansy
okay but what if he’s one of those boyfriends who’s all cold in public but then sends goodnight texts with like 47 heart emojis
Theo
i’m leaving this group chat
i can’t do this tonight
Mattheo
no wait this is entertaining
Daphne
i kind of want to see draco’s soft side now
Astoria
same
Pansy
someone text him
Blaise
i’m not texting him
Pansy
y/n is in the chat
y/n text your boyfriend
we need answers
Theo
yes y/n we need to know if draco is secretly a golden retriever boyfriend
Mattheo
i’m putting money on no
he’s probably the type to send “good morning” and nothing else
Pansy
mattheo you have no romance in your soul
Mattheo
i have layers pansy
Pansy
you have issues
Mattheo
same thing
Daphne
y/n where are you
we need intel
Astoria
she’s probably asleep too
Pansy
no she’s definitely awake
she’s just watching us argue
i can feel it
Theo
honestly same
this is entertaining
Blaise
we should start a betting pool on draco’s boyfriend behavior
Mattheo
i’m in
Theo
10 galleons he’s the cold type
Pansy
20 galleons he’s secretly clingy
Daphne
i’m not betting on my sister’s boyfriend
Astoria
daphne you’re no fun
Pansy
y/n if you’re reading this
we need you to settle this
what’s draco like as a boyfriend
be honest
we promise we won’t tell him
Theo
we will absolutely tell him
but we promise we won’t tell him it was you
Mattheo
that’s a lie
we’ll tell him immediately
Pansy
mattheo shut up
y/n we’re waiting