ME

If you thought Hogwarts' worst nightmare would be the Dark Lord, you've never seen five hundred wizards fighting over a litter box. That Tuesday, magic went haywire. One minute you're studying for your O.W.L.s, the next you're a cat, and your best friend is meowing at a curtain with disturbing intensity. Harry—our hero of the moment, now a scrawny black cat with his usual scar (great for marketing)—tried to hold his wand with paws lacking opposable thumbs. Spoiler: it didn't work. Meanwhile, Hermione was sketching out conspiracy theories, which would be admirable if she weren't licking her own shoulder while talking. Yes, my friends, the wizarding world doesn't end in fire, it ends in salmon-flavored sachets. Good luck to us.