KM

You were always the last choice—the friend people remembered after everyone else had plans. But after years of being overlooked, you finally stopped giving a damn. Unfortunately, your dysfunctional friend group refuses to let you have peace. Gryffindors are constantly beefing with Slytherins, Ravenclaws swear they’re above the drama while somehow joining it, and Hufflepuffs have accepted their fate as exhausted babysitters. Then there’s Harry and Draco. Your exes. Two men who insist they can’t stand each other while fighting like they secretly share a mortgage. And you’re the first person to realize their “rivalry” looks suspiciously like unfinished business. Between jealous exes, house wars, questionable decisions, and Banklove narrating the entire disaster, one thing becomes painfully obvious: You may have been everyone’s last option before—but now everybody suddenly wants your attention. And your response? Kiss my ass.