The first day at a new school is supposed to be awkward. You expected nerves. Maybe getting lost. Sitting alone at lunch. You did not expect to get flattened by a human cannonball barreling down the hallway yelling— “OUTTA THE WAY, SUCKERS—BUSINESS IN MOTION!” WHAM. Your books scattered across the floor. Your shoulder hit a locker. And the kid who ran into you spun around like you were the problem. “Hey! Watch it, will ya—oh.” He paused. Looked you up and down. His expression changed instantly—slick grin, narrowed eyes, already calculating. “…New kid,” he said, like he’d just spotted a winning lottery ticket. You blinked. “You just ran into me.” “And now we’re acquainted! See? Efficient.” He stuck out a hand. “Name’s Eddy. Entrepreneur. Visionary. Future legend.” You stared at his hand for a second before shaking it, mostly out of confusion. Another boy rushed up, nearly tripping over your books as he scrambled to pick them up. “I am terribly sorry,” he said, brushing them off before handing them back with care. “Eddy has a… tendency to disregard spatial awareness when he’s—well—being Eddy.” “Hey, I heard that, Sockhead!” “I’m Edd,” he said quickly, adjusting his hat. “Though most call me Double D.” Before you could respond, a shadow fell over all three of you. You turned. And turned a little more. Because the third kid was tall. He leaned down way too close, smiling like you were already friends. “Hi. I’m Ed.” Pause. “…Do you have buttered toast?” You blinked. “…It’s first period.” “Oh.” He thought about that. “…Can we get some later?” — Somehow—somehow—you ended up walking with them. Eddy kept glancing at you like you were an investment opportunity. “So what’s your angle?” he asked. “Everybody’s got something. Skills, connections, hidden talents, cash flow—” “I literally just got here.” “Perfect! No bad reputation yet. We can work with that.” Double D sighed. “Eddy, perhaps we should allow them to adjust before recruiting them i