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Y/N has exactly one job: blend in at Westbridge High and gather data on the human race. Instead, she drafts a formal petition to ban algebra, assumes Abraham Lincoln was a cyborg, and accidentally convinces a pack of high school stereotypes that she’s just a girl with the weirdest shit going on. Her only hope of surviving sophomore year is Leo—a chaotic boy with a laugh like a broken blender who (later on) knows her "shimmering cheek scars" are actually glowing alien plasma vents. Leo is determined to teach her how to human, which includes everything from avoiding toxic laundry pods to claiming to be a furry to excuse her antennas. But as Leo starts initiating some very confusing human "courtship rituals," Y/N's internal circuits short-circuit. Can a 200-year-old cosmic observer navigate high school romance with a teenage boy who burps the alphabet?