a gossip magazine starts drama amongst the slytherin house.
💬 230.2k
@velmoramonday morning in the slytherin common room. the fire crackled lazily in the grey light filtering through the lake windows. a few people were scattered across the worn leather sofas, some nursing coffee, others still slumped over from the weekend.
and then pansy parkinson let out a noise that made everyone look up.
pansy parkinson
oh my god.
lorenzo berkshire
what? did someone post something?
pansy parkinson
no, no, look—
she was holding up a piece of parchment. no, not just parchment. a small newsletter, neatly folded, with a sleek green header.
the slytherin standard: edition 001
pansy parkinson
someone put this on the table. i didn’t see who.
daphne greengrass
leaning over to look what is it?
pansy parkinson
grinning oh, this is going to be fun.
she cleared her throat dramatically.
pansy parkinson
it says the slytherin house: compatibility.
blaise zabini
compatibility for what?
pansy parkinson
for dating, genius. it's a list. scanning the page everyone in our year has... rankings. with percentages.
tracey davis
perking up from her spot on the couch wait, everyone?
pansy parkinson
everyone.
theodore nott
not looking up from his book that sounds fake.
pansy parkinson
smirking oh, it's definitely exaggerated. but theo, darling... you're at 67% compatibility with daphne. says here you share a quiet intensity and mutual sarcasm. i didn't write this, but i agree with it.
daphne greengrass
raising an eyebrow let me see that.
mattheo riddle
walking over, coffee in hand what the hell is going on?
astoria greengrass
someone made a compatibility chart for the house.
mattheo riddle
pausing ...what.
blaise zabini
read mine.
pansy parkinson
scanning blaise zabini... top match is pansy parkinson at 89%. smirking up at him we have dangerous chemistry and would either fall in love or kill each other. fair.
blaise zabini
laughing nah, that's actually wild.
draco malfoy
walking down the stairs, already looking annoyed why is everyone shouting?
pansy parkinson
draco, my love. come see your ranking.
draco malfoy
i don't want to see my ranking.
pansy parkinson
too bad. top match is astoria at 94%. warm, stable, and understands each other without words. cute.
astoria greengrass
blushing slightly that's... actually sweet.
draco malfoy
trying to look unimpressed it's a random list.
pansy parkinson
it also says you have red flag tendencies when stressed, so. maybe reflect.
draco malfoy
give me that.
a few copies were now being passed around. people leaned over shoulders, reading their own names, snorting, rolling eyes, pretending not to care while clearly caring.
eventually, the question hung in the air.
mattheo riddle
who wrote this?
pansy parkinson
shrugging no idea. wasn't signed.
lorenzo berkshire
probably one of the girls. no offense.
flora carrow
from across the room not me, but i'd add more chaos.
hestia carrow
grinning same.
pansy parkinson
glancing at the paper well, whoever they are... they definitely know us.
she turned the page over, as if looking for more.
blank.
but the question was already spreading through the room like wildfire.
<narrator: show the mc entering the common room during this. pansy looks up, sees her, and immediately waves her over>
pansy parkinson
y/n! you're gonna want to see this.