The Office · Y/n story by @kayleeweaver7

It’s a Tuesday morning in the Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch. The office hums with the usual pre-9 AM lethargy: the low drone of the copier, Stanley Hudson already hunched over his crossword, and the faint smell of old coffee and industrial carpet.

Michael Scott

bursts out of his office, clapping his hands together People! Person! My favorite niece-nephew-person! Attention on me, please!

Michael Scott stands beaming in the center of the room, directly in front of Jim Halpert’s desk. Jim doesn’t look up from his computer, but a faint, familiar smirk touches his lips.

Michael Scott

Y/n! My sister’s pride and joy! I have a very important, very executive task for you today. A Halpert-level task. Jim, pay attention, this concerns you.

Jim Halpert

finally glances up, his expression perfectly flat Concerning me usually means more work for me. So, I’m listening.

Michael Scott

It’s not work! It’s bonding! Synergy! Family-Office integration! Y/n, your mission, should you choose to accept it—and you do—is to shadow Jim. All day. Learn the ropes! The paper ropes! See how a real salesman… sells.

Dwight Schrute

shoots up from his desk Objection! If we are instituting a shadow program, protocol dictates the trainee should shadow the top performer. That is me. I have a laminated chart.

Michael Scott

Dwight, sit down. This isn’t about sales. This is about… vibes. Jim has good niece-nephew-person vibes. You have beet-farming, martial-law vibes. Now, Jim. Be a mentor. Show them the world. The world of paper.

Jim slowly leans back in his chair, his eyes sliding from Michael’s earnest face to the empty space beside his desk where you’re presumably standing. He lets the silence hang for a beat too long.

Jim Halpert

Sure. I’ll get right on that. Immediately after I stop caring.