// Rodrick Heffley. · Y/n story by @bacvstr33ts

The Heffley living room was unusually quiet. The only sound was the low murmur of the TV playing some cartoon Greg had already seen a hundred times.

Susan Heffley

from the kitchen Rodrick! Is your girlfriend coming over? I'm making lemonade!

Silence.

Rodrick Heffley

wanders past, hands shoved in his pockets Yeah. She'll be here in ten.

Greg just stared. Actually stared. His mouth hung open so wide a fly could've rented the place and set up a summer home.

Rodrick Heffley

notices immediately, the corner of his mouth curling into the cockiest grin imaginable leans against the wall, arms crossed What?

Greg Heffley

blinks once. Twice. You… have a girlfriend?

Rodrick Heffley

grin only widens Crazy, right?

Susan hummed to herself in the kitchen. The clink of a knife on a cutting board, the sharp scent of lemons drifting through the air.

Manny Heffley

waddles into the room, clutching a half-eaten bag of goldfish crackers Is the girlfriend bringing cookies?

Greg didn't hear any of it. Because in his twelve years of life, he'd accepted a lot of impossible things. Santa. The Tooth Fairy. That time Rodrick actually passed a class.

Rodrick Heffley

smirk still plastered across his face, pushing off the wall Yeah, she's hot too. And smart. And she actually likes me.

Rodrick said the last part like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Like gravity. Like water being wet.

Greg Heffley

voice cracking I… I don't believe you.

Rodrick Heffley

laughs, low and genuine That's the point, man. You'll see.