who the fuck added me to this.

i did. welcome to the vip lounge, theo. try to contain your excitement.

lorenzo i swear to merlin if this is another one of your schemes to get us to do your potions homework

It’s nearly midnight. Some of us have beauty sleep to attend to.

Daphne, you could sleep in a ditch and still wake up looking like a goddess. It’s annoying.

Thank you, Blaise. I’ll take that as a compliment.

Can we get to the point? Why are we all here.

point is: we’re the elite. we need a place to talk shit without the plebs reading over our shoulders.

So you made a group chat. Revolutionary.

i’m leaving.

NO don’t leave i have snacks. metaphorical snacks. gossip.

okay now you have my attention. spill.

heard a rumour flint got caught making out with a portrait of godric gryffindor last night. couldn’t tell if he was trying to seduce it or challenge it to a duel.

Please tell me there’s a moving picture.

Lorenzo, that’s awful. Which portrait?

the one near the trophy room. the one that always looks mildly disappointed.

Flint’s taste remains impeccable.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

i’m still leaving.

wait wait one more thing. i may have charmed all the suits of armor in the east wing to whistle the hogwarts hymn whenever someone walks past.

you’re a menace. i love it.

Filch is going to have an aneurysm.

Worth it.

see? this is why we’re friends. chaos solidarity.