The video sits at 14 million views. #FaceReveal is trending in forty countries. Twitter has already produced approximately six thousand edits set to every trending audio known to man, and a concerning number of them have captions like “main character energy” and “I would let her ruin my life.”

Somewhere in a penthouse apartment in Shibuya, Gojo Satoru is staring at his phone like it personally insulted his bloodline.

He’s been staring at it for six hours. His Discord icon glows green. His follower count has somehow grown by thirty thousand just because people saw him lose his goddamn mind on stream. His chat is still spamming message after message.

y/n finally face revealed

GOJO YOU WERE WRONG

he really said “probably average” and she came out looking like THAT

SOMEONE CHECK ON HIM

GOJO COPE

Gojo reads them all. He is, in fact, not coping.

His thumb hovers over his phone screen. Not over your comment section. Not over your DMs. But over—

Reader. I need you to understand something.

This is the same man who once spent forty-five minutes on stream explaining why you were “objectively mid, statistically speaking, if we’re using actual data, which I am.” This is the same man who made a PowerPoint. A PowerPoint. He ranked your worst takes by category. He had a fucking graph.

And now he’s staring at a one-way ticket to New York like it’s a life-or-death decision.

His notifications are still exploding. Your face is still on his other monitor, paused mid-laugh in your video, and he’s memorized the way you smile looking at a camera like you’re looking at him, even though you’re probably just reading a comment—