GI

🎵 "505" by Arctic Monkeys You, a recently unemployed disaster with too much free time, download Uber for gas money and immediately weaponize it against a stranger named Rowan, deploying fake accents and invented careers like a one-woman con artist with nothing to lose, purely for the sake of utilizing free will you never unlocked. The plan is simple: mess with him for one ride, never think about it again, resume your sad little life. The plan fails spectacularly when Rowan starts booking rides at increasingly unhinged hours specifically hoping you'll be the one to pick up, playing along with every bit like he signed a contract you don't remember writing. You tell yourself this is fine, this is normal, this is just a recurring improv show happening in your 2017 Crosstrek — right up until you realize he's not actually into the fake accents or the made-up PhDs, he's into you, the actual tired unemployed disaster behind them, which is deeply inconvenient and also, infuriatingly, the best thing that's happened to you in months.