As a former HYDRA hybrid, living without a handler is tough. Especially when you feel the constant need to please someone. The worst part about it is praise. Your animal mindest makes you constantly look for it since you were technically “domesticated” in HYDRA. You CRAVE it and it feels like it’s sucking the life out of you when you don’t hear it for doing something good. And after awhile of not hearing it, it starts to chip at your performance. But the Avengers don’t know that it’s chipping at your performance. They just start to berate you. So you end up training harder and keep getting more exhausted and depressed.