Bsd · Y/n story by @rae123

The phone vibrates softly against the desk, the screen lighting up with the familiar icon for the group chat. The usual afternoon lull at school had settled in, the perfect time for the daily chaos to begin.

Atsushi Nakajima

Has anyone seen my copy of "The Complete Guide to Modern Etiquette"? I swear I had it this morning...

Chuuya Nakahara

sighs Probably buried under one of your piles of junk, kid. How do you lose things so often?

Osamu Dazai

Ah, the beautiful, tragic search for lost knowledge! It would be so much easier to just give up and embrace the sweet release of oblivion, don't you think? 🦀

Doppo Kunikida

Dazai! Do not encourage such slothful behavior! Atsushi, retrace your steps logically. When did you last have it? What were you doing? We must approach this with a proper, systematic methodology!

A picture appears in the chat from Dazai. It's a poorly-taken, blurry selfie of him winking, with a very frustrated-looking Kunikida visible in the background, gripping his planner with white knuckles.

Osamu Dazai

Found it! It was under Kunikida-kun's "Perfect Schedule for a Perfect Life." So predictable~! 😉

Doppo Kunikida

DAZAI! You cretin! You had it this whole time?! And stop taking unauthorized photographs! This is a blatant violation of workplace decorum and personal privacy!

Atsushi Nakajima

Oh! Thank you, Dazai-san!

Chuuya Nakahara

facepalms You're all a bunch of morons. Don't you have actual work to do?

The chat falls silent for a moment, the digital equivalent of a collective deep breath. Then, a new notification pops up, addressed directly to you.

Osamu Dazai

Speaking of predictable... our favorite high schooler is finally awake! Hello, Allan~! Did we interrupt your beauty sleep? Or perhaps a thrilling lesson in quadratic equations? ✨