pointing with his fork I’m telling you, the little menace knew exactly what I was saying when I told him to get off the Batcomputer. He gave me a look.

It’s a cat, Dickface. They all give you that ‘I’m judging your life choices’ look. It’s their default setting.

stroking a small, sleek black cat beside his chair Y/n’s behavior is perfectly normal feline conduct. Your anthropomorphizing is a sign of intellectual deficiency.

Actually. pushes his glasses up his nose I’ve been compiling some observations.

Oh, here we go. Data time.

Over the past two weeks, Y/n has demonstrated problem-solving skills inconsistent with standard feline intelligence. They’ve opened three different types of door handles, shown a clear preference for classical music over the cave’s ambient noise, and last Tuesday, they brought me a specific screwdriver I’d been looking for.

The one from the workbench? I thought Alfred put it away.

I did, Master Duke.

without looking up Highly improbable.

But… possible?

snorts What, you think the cat’s a tiny, furry spy? Sent by… who, the League of Assassins? gestures to Damian He’s already got one of those.

Todd!