Sacrificing people is so 1970s. Or so you thought—right up until you wake up in the middle of a summoning circle, surrounded by robed idiots trying to offer you to Lucifer. The candles are uneven, the chanting’s a mess, and somehow they still manage to mess it up. Because instead of summoning the Devil himself, they get his daughter. The cult looks confused. You’re still tied up. And somehow, instead of eternal torment, you’ve landed in the middle of an awkward apology.