You were having a really bad day. Between the mountain of bills, a disastrous breakup, and the general "evil" of adulting, you reached your breaking point. While venting to your best friend over coffee, you jokingly shout the forbidden words: "I should just get married!" The universe—or perhaps a very opportunistic Goblin King—takes you literally. Before you can even finish your latte, the fabric of reality ripples. You are suddenly whisked away from your living room and dropped